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The origin story of Earth is a tale
of God-like cosmic forces and geological timespans so colossal they are almost
unimaginable to our puny brains. According to flat-Earthers, the results of
this mysterious astronomical inception might look a lot like a fried doughy
piece of confectionary.
Abandon all scientific reasoning for
one moment and consider the idea of a flat Earth. One of the first questions
you’ll be confronted with is how nobody has ever fallen off the edge. Well,
fear not, there’s an answer to that.
The hypothesis was recently published
in the prestigious peer-viewed journal Nature by planetary scientists from MIT
(just kidding). The theory was posted on a Flat Earth Society forum back in
2012 by Varaug, who boldly notes: “I have a theory that the Earth is in fact
shaped like a torus (a donut shape).” He also provided a handy little FAQ in
case anyone was slightly boggled by the eccentric theory.
“Logically, it is possible for a
torus-shaped planet to form, so we cannot rule out the possibility that the
Earth is shaped like a torus, and therefore the hypothesis must be considered
as a potential model,” they added.
That’s right, donut-shaped. While
that might account for why no one's ever sailed off the edge, it doesn’t quite
explain why people in the center of the torus wouldn’t look up and see Earth.
However, Varaug’s got an explanation for that too. They argue that this “light
bends and follows the curvature of the torus,” thereby making it impossible to
see the hole.
Since no one has ever fallen into the
hole, they also state that gravity would have to exist in this model. In their
words: “Gravity acts as it does in an RE [round-Earth] model, and people are
attracted to large masses. Imagine a donut. Imagine a jam donut. Gravity acts
towards the jam.”
OK, but what about night and day?
They explain: “Lay a torch horizontal on a table and turn it on. Now, get a
donut and place it on its side, with the hole perpendicular to the torch. The
side that is illuminated by the torch is in day. Over 24 hours, the donut
performs one complete revolution. Spin it halfway around, this signifies the
passing of 12 hours. Now, the side that WAS in day, is facing away from the
torch and is in night. The side that WAS in night, is now facing the torch and
is in day.”
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In all fairness, they do note that
their theory is just for “fun” and welcome anyone to point out flaws in their
argument. Equally, you should never shy away from a ridiculous thought
experiment if it helps to flex your brain and test your reasoning skills, such
as the recent Twitter discussion about what would happen if we sent a werewolf to the Moon.
However, we should be clear, the
Earth is not donut-shaped by any reasonable stretch of the imagination.
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